Bla bla bla

I was going to write a “pregnancy; worst parts”-post, but then I realized that would be a whole lot of complaining from my side. As far as I’ve understood reading around on different blogs and forums online, my pregnancy is one of those so called “dream-pregnancies”. I was bothered by morning-sickness for six weeks, but I never threw up. My blood-pressure is low, but I’ve gotten used to it and don’t notice it that much any more. Sometimes my back hurts, but I can still work as normal and renovate an apartment. I can sleep on my back – and even on my stomach. I can without problems bike 10 kilometers and feel good afterwards (I actually tried this the other day, and I felt awesome).

The only thing really bothering me is those horrible hormones. But I have even gotten used to them too, ups and downs are more like a way of living than an actual annoying part of my everyday life now – and I hope they will pass as soon as the little one decides to show his face to the world.

Over to another topic, I am realizing that a lot of people think that I am so, so busy. Well, that’s not true. What is true though, is that no one is asking me out to do anything, so I might appear a busy woman with “all” this time I spend at my apartment cleaning and painting. The fact that no one knows is that I spend more time alone at home than I spend renovating, and I am stupidly too shy to send people texts asking to grab a coffee – because I feel like I am intruding. I guess that’s something I should change, but having to ask all the time is not a feeling I am very fond of.. So, if you are reading this and want to do something, but you’re not asking because I am so very “busy” – please ask! Thank you very much :)

Remembering feelings

Randomly surfing through weheartit.com I found this picture, and I suddenly remembered summers and flashes of feelings from a long time ago. A time when worries was a foreign word, and happiness was a feeling felt several times a day. Laughter and smiles on happy faces was the most normal thing in the world, and butterflies flying around in ones stomach emphasized that everything was okay. The good feeling of being two, and when being two was totally normal. I hope that one day, I’ll find my soulmate – and we will again experience butterflies, smiles and laughter, and the feeling of being two.

Feeling lonely

Somehow the weather just changed into summer, and everyone is out barbecuing, on the beach, partying or doing other nice summer activities. In all this I feel a bit forgotten, but I also feel like it’s my own fault. I haven’t really been home I guess. When I moved back in September I started working and was never reachable, and then I suddenly became pregnant and now everyone is continuing their own lives while I’m sitting here wondering what happened. Some days I feel vengeful and keep on telling myself that if they don’t want me around now, they won’t be welcome when the baby comes either, but I know I can’t keep on thinking that. It’s not actually their fault that I have been so busy all the time, but I don’t want them to think that just because I’m pregnant I can’t be invited to the beach or to a party. I don’t know what to think.

On top of all these stupid feelings, the heat is knocking me out, and even though I was prepared I never thought it would be this difficult to keep up. The thought of having to finish the apartment is also something I am struggling with, in this heat I just don’t have the energy to actually do something there, and I know I would feel so much better if it could just be finished and I could move in an stop thinking about it. There’s progress though, and with some effort the bedroom might be done today. I will feel so much better when there’s only paint left. Well well, I’ll continue forcing my brother with me to go swimming when it gets too hot.

Days

Wow, days pass fast when you don’t think about it. I am still not in a really good shape, and I should probably just rest, but I really want to get the apartment done soon so I have dragged myself out of bed and managed to get some small steps further. Other than that I am trying to work as much as I can too, so with everything that’s going on I don’t have time or strength to write something useful here. I really miss writing inspiring post about life and travel and all that (I know that I still haven’t posted the pictures from Nice, for example), and I can’t wait until the day comes when I can move in, sit down – and just enjoy everything and nothing. But you know, it takes time. Way too much time. Blargh.

↑ View from my balcony :)

National day; Norway

Since something that seems like forever (and because of the constitution something signed on the 17th of May in 1814), the 17th of May has been the Norwegian national day – and I love it. While last year was spent in Salamanca as two out of four Norwegians, this year I forced myself out of the house even though I would rather spend it in bed crying over the fact that I can’t get into my “bunad” this year either. And even though it was raining part of the day, and the fact that Norwegians has no clue when it comes to courtesy of any kind while standing in line and are generally being rude – I had a good time. The laugh of the day definitively came out of a childish joke about Harry Potter titles and the word poop, but that’s just how childish this day is supposed to be, for me at least. Here are some pictures from today, not edited. Enjoy!

What if?

 

 

Where did the day go?

The last days has passed by so fast, and I am purposely trying to make myself more than half-dead so I can sleep at night. Sad as it might sound, it works perfectly! Shortly said, my days consist of working at/with the apartment, and work at work. I am more than tired, and I cry for no reason several times a day. But, today I started painting – and I can finally see some progress. Soon we’ll be done and I can move in and relax until baby-boy shows up :)

And just to show you the difference on the color, I’ll add this photo below where my head disappeared, but my thumb somehow still made it into the picture.. The second layer will be there tomorrow, and that’s great! Until settling down for real, I’ll continue uploading pictures with random sentences. My head seriously doesn’t work. Sorry.