To my dear friend Dalia, and of course to the rest of you who updates yourselves through this blog.
First of all; I am happier than I ever been, it’s like I’m on an endless good ride that just gets better and better. It’s not like I don’t still have my downs, weekends in particular are hard, but now I see ends to stuff I’ve been struggling with or worrying about and all I do is focus on that day when my loan is gone and I can save money to do.. well, whatever I want actually! The best part of course, is that I love what I’m doing right now. Last week they offered me a full substitute position at the kindergarten lasting until the end of December, and what more is there to ask for? Nothing makes my day better than being around those kids all day, even though it involves snot, changing nappies and tears. Not to mention anger and focusing on how to talk to a child so that they understand why they can’t do this or that. It’s challenging some times, but if you don’t work with children or don’t have a child of your own, you can’t possibly imagine how the understanding something new, or your feeling of accomplishment is – when you do something right. Sometimes I’m thinking I could do it without getting paid, even – and that’s when you know you’re working with the right thing!
I have also started to think thoroughly about what makes my day better when I’m grumpy when I wake up, or when I meet stuff during my day which can be a real mood-killer. One of them are listening to the radio – you never know what the next song will be, and often it’s songs that surprise me and makes me smile in an instant. Because of that I have decided to buy a good quality radio, namely this one. Second one is searching www.weheartit.com for quotes about life, while listening to good music and looking at all the lovely pictures that are to be found there. That one is actually really simple, but it’s amazing how easy it changes my mood from bad to good. Third and almost just as easy, is lighting candles in my room, playing music like Tracy Chapman, Yiruma or “FeelGood” music and drinking tea and just enjoying being here. Last (well, there might be more, but these are the easiest and most common used) there is something I do before going to bed; I imagine my dreams. I feel them come true, and I make smells come to life, together with conversations, meeting new people while traveling and enjoying life. It’s one of the easiest way for me to fall asleep with a smile on my face, and I love the ability I have to imagine. Truth to be told, I believe I can do whatever I want when it comes to making dreams come true in real life, so it’s not that hard imagining it!
So as you understand, my life now is mostly about working and trying to be positive about what will come and what is right now. Something new I’m trying out is not to talk so much about stuff I can’t do anything about, like the fact that I like someone who doesn’t like me in that way. We all have stuff we have to work through, and we can’t do it in any other way than our own, so why should I over-analyze something that’s not up to me? I’d rather continue my new “wave” – enjoying that what I have, the possibilities, my dreams, my friends and my happiness. And I try to laugh and smile and appreciate more. It’s working great, and I won’t change it!