I see happy days to come

by Line

I just realized now is probably the last time I have the time and energy to write a post before I leave early Tuesday morning. All I’ve done so far is printing the tickets, locating my passport, and of course – I’ve been thinking about what to put in my suitcase when I find it. Except for that I’ve been thinking about how GREAT it will be to finally get on an airplane, sit at an airport watching people, and finally; hugging Laurence again. I have a feeling there might be tears.

I can’t explain how much I need this vacation, how much I look forward to it, how I’m feeling like I can be worry-free for the first time in what seems like forever. Not having the feeling that I want to cry whenever I get home from work and lay down in bed. Leaving everything behind, the bad feelings, the stupid thoughts, the ridiculous emotions. The anger and the sadness. All of it that isn’t necessary, just a result of a tired person in need of some time off. When I return I swear to be happier, calmer and relaxed, more ready to meet every challenge with an open and loving mind. Allowing myself to enjoy the moment entirely.

I already smile because of what I know will come, and it’s pleasant. The moment I’m looking forward to the most right now, is my seven hour wait at Schiphol airport Tuesday morning. I might be weird that way, but sitting at places like that, totally alone, gives me more peace to my mind than a hammock on a beach could ever do. Music, notebook and a pencil and I’ll be happy.

So for now you should know this; I have a growing feeling of happiness inside, I just need to give it time to burst out. I won’t be this whining, sarcastic and sad forever. I’ll stop with the meaningless posts to blow off steam for my own sake. Next time I’ll update you from Canada!