Roadkill

by Line

You can’t take the sky from me. You can’t take away my dreams. You can’t take away my memories. You can’t take away the music in my head. You can’t remove the beauty my eyes have seen. You will never have my yesterday.

I am probably killing my week by forcing myself to be awake right now, but there are too many things in my head and I am afraid to fall asleep and wake up to something even worse. It’s like this standstill, a very long moment of something that feels like nothing. An everlasting wander through many memories. Some almost forgotten, some brought up by a special song. Some I just want to forget. Minutes pass, song by song. Just listening to the lyrics, allowing thoughts to go their own way. Trying to stay awake. I will take back the beauty from last week. The good feelings. The moments I felt on top. It was finally going my way. And then it just, fell apart. Again.

Seriously? I will no allow it. I am so fucking tired of it! HOW MANY LEMONS ARE YOU PLANNING ON GIVING ME? I’ve had my share of lemonade, it makes me puke. I will once again fight you, damned.. life? Karma? Universe? And I will win, I swear. I will climb, and I will not accept hitting that bottom again. Never again will I be wrapped around your finger. Do you hear me?! I have no idea how bad I was in my last life to deserve all this bad karma, but have I really done so bad so far that you continuously have to punch me in the face? Do I do wrong all the time? Are my beliefs wrong? No.

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