No-one reads this blog any more, but just in case I’ll just remind you that even though the blog that is up and running is written in Norwegian (www.sjefenogjeg.wordpress.com), there are some pictures there of my ever so lovely son and you can comment if you want and I’ll give you updates in English! :)

♥

Boskoop weekend and update

First of all; Kasper is doing great! Bedtime routines are good, I put him to bed and then he calms down himself and falls asleep – finally. Last check-up he was 10 kilos and 69 centimeters long, so he now sit in a “big seat” whenever we go somewhere by car. He still sleeps during the day (fantastic!) and eats everything (not so fantastic). May was the month for learning new stuff and he can now crawl, sit up and walk alongside the furniture. Which means he is pretty much everywhere, but I like it. He is a happy little boy, laughs and smiles a lot and is rarely crying (cool, right?) – and I’m guessing he is happier because I am happier. The only thing I struggle with is getting up in the morning, because I’m so badly hit by allergies that I find it hard to open my swollen eyes in the early morning (but I shouldn’t complain, K now sleeps from 7pm to 6am). We also have a friend of mine visiting, Mille, that you all should remember. It is nice being to people in the house, having someone to talk to and someone who likes getting up at six (I’m getting spoiled!!).

On Friday I went to Holland to visit Marjolein, and this is basically how it all went;

On Friday we went on a short bike-trip so she could show me around where she lives, and Saturday we woke up early to go to Amsterdam. I found it to be a really disorienting city with all it’s canals and – to me – similar buildings, and even though Marjolein is Dutch, she knew almost as little as I did. We ended up just walking around looking for the Anne Frank house, a Starbucks and the Red Light District and with a little help from the hop on hop off canal bus we found all three things – to our great surprise followed by happiness. On Sunday we slept in and had a nice family barbecue before I left, and before I knew it I was back home again. If it were up to me I would have stayed for at least a week, so who knows what happens next time? The only thing I know for sure is that there will be a next time, and in the meantime I’m going to Miami to visit Dalia!

I will try to update this blog about once a month, and as I’ve said earlier – the really interested ones can go to www.sjefenogjeg.wordpress.com to look at picture or have some fun with google translate. So long!

New blog!

It finally happened after a lot of back and forth.. I have started a new blog, this time in Norwegian. You can find it here: http://www.sjefenogjeg.wordpress.com. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, and when I realized the main reason why I haven’t been writing that much lately, is because everyday updates are hard to do in English – I made my choice. It was also affected by the fact that we are moving to Notodden in August, and with a Norwegian blog my grandparents can also see what we are doing in the woods there.

Because I have a lot of English speaking friends that I hold so dear, I will continue to post some updates here now and then, and for the extremely interested there is a thing called Google Translate. I hope those of you that have followed me here will continue to follow me on my other blog, and I can even halfway promise better reading material. Maybe. I’ll try to take more pictures! No wait, I’ll try to post more pictures. Hoho, haha.

See you there!
www.sjefenogjeg.wordpress.com

Spring ♥

Days go by fast when you’re having a good time they say, and even though I don’t know if I’m looking forward to something or not, I feel like I’m waiting for something good to come. I’m guessing that’s good? It’s Saturday, K is sound asleep, I’m doing nothing but watching TV-series, the house is clean and I’m soon off to bed. Here’s a little something-something from our last week :)

♥

There’s light at the end

After reading at fueledbydietcoke.com I realized that my focus can easily be turned to the good stuff that’s been going on lately, that is: all the small things that makes me smile. When I get too angry or emotional I tend to forget the nice moments just seconds after they’re over, when what I really should do is take them with me and smile at them during the rest of the day. Here’s a list of moments I want to remember from last week;

» I got to hold Martin just two days old, and I could not stop crying happy and emotional tears, because life is so very beautiful

» When the kids at kindergarten realized I was coming all you could hear was “Line is here! Line, LINE, LINEEE!“

» I ate summer’s first ice-cream, wearing only my sweater

» I bought K a new stroller and it is AWESOME

» K gave me the biggest grin ever when I went to pick him up at his dad’s

» I played cards with good friends and laughed like I haven’t in a long while

» Today I could walk outside without a jacket on

» I was greeted with big hugs and wishes to come home to live with me from the girls at choir practice

» The girls in the choir are beautiful and sing beautifully and I almost have to cry every time and those of you who can should really come listen to our concert May 14th at 18:30

» I can be myself and have a good time with the girls in my maternity group

» There’s less than two months until I’m going to Miami (!!)

And there’s probably more but this is what I could remember just now. What I love the most is the kids’ way to show love and appreciation (usually in a really loud voice) and how fond they are of me (I mean, really? Me?). Kids ♥

(new english readers; my name is Line. Like, a line. Just it’s my name. So totally not international)

» I’ve been alone all along

I know I promised you something good to read over the weekend, but I could never have predicted that someone would trigger my temper so bad I just wanted to jump off a bridge. The worst part is that I have nowhere to take it out, I just have to sit here, receive and suppress my bad mood. Until the bomb goes off. Which is not a pretty sight.

There’s been a lot of Evanescence, very loud and it helps – sort of. It’s at least a way to put words to some feelings I’m not sure how to handle. Until next time;

Goodbye April

I got ze’interwebs back!

April has been an exhausting month, and I probably wouldn’t have updated you even if I were connected. It seems like we have put the worst behind us though, and I hope May will be filled with nice moments that I can share with you all! But for now it’s way past my bedtime and I’m more than tired – so stay tuned and get ready to read when weekend comes around.

Love ♥

Stop it, would you?

› In just one week I’ve spent all of my internet capacity (which is kind of a good thing because I really have to study for those exams..), and that means that it’ll probably be quiet here for a while. Some days I might go home to my parents to write if I feel like it, but most of the time I’m guessing not. I’ll get an “internet-refill” the first of May just like every other month, and of course I’ll make sure to update you on how my exams went when they’re over. In the meantime, this is the post that will stay on top, and I hope you’ll take your time to read it;

For the last two weeks, every person I’ve met that I haven’t seen in a while has greeted me with this; Oh my god, you’re skinny! When did you get so thin? Don’t get any thinner, please?! and all I want to scream in their faces is yes I f**king know, okay!? But instead, I calmly say yes and explain that yes I eat, but I never get full, I might go to the doctor to see if something’s wrong, I might not eat as well as I should but it’s getting better, but I’ve started walking more .. and the explaining goes on while I see worry build up in their faces.

In some way I feel like I’m lying when I tell them that I eat, because even though I do eat I feel like it’s probably not enough – but I eat so much better now than what I did! I might not eat much, but I eat something at least three times a day now, and that’s so much more than I used to. Where were you in for example October, when I on my birthday just stayed in bed all day starving not answering any texts because I was depressed and hungry? Where were you in November, December and January, when eating was my most painful issue and I couldn’t look at myself in a mirror? Where were you when all I ate for two or three days was one or two slices of bread? Where were you when I pleaded for help and said that this isn’t something I can go through alone?

I am happier now, I start my day with a slice of bread, and before noon I’ve most days eaten two more, and often I make myself some oatmeal too. I eat bananas, I drink chocolate milk (because I’ve told that it’s a lot of energy in it even though it’s probably not healthy), I have yoghurt, I eat nuts. And I eat dinner, yes some days it’s only two slices of bread, or a portion of oatmeal if I didn’t have it for breakfast or lunch, but I eat dinner. Today I even had a full meal. Friday and Saturday I had dinner. Tomorrow I’ll make myself some dinner. Before I go to bed tonight I’ll eat at least a yoghurt. And I don’t feel as depressed as I used too, so why now? 

It’s getting on my nerves, and I feel like an anorectic skeleton who’s afraid to greet summer and bikini season. I look at myself in the mirror and I’m not ashamed, but because of you’re comments I’m looking for faults. I can’t see it, but I know I’ve lost weight. I’ve gone down at least two sizes since October, and it’s not healthy. My hip bones are sticking out. My pants are hanging. I’m starting to feel ugly, will people look at me at the beach and feel sorry for me because I obviously have an eating disorder? One that I’m not aware of myself?

Because like I just said, I am (or at least I feel like I am) getting better. I know that I eat more. I know that my mood is raising. And I don’t know why the hell I’m still losing weight, okay?

Today I found myself crying while doing the dishes, and I couldn’t figure out why. I thought and thought and couldn’t come to any useful conclusion, but then I remember how I started my day. With explaining why I am getting so skinny, or trying to avoid the question and giving an answer that will shut the others’ mouth. It’s not your fault for noticing and caring and worrying and wanting me to be okay, but keeping on asking and asking won’t do me any good. I’m trying to get out of this mess, and so far I’ve experienced that time and persistence on my part helps. I’m better, aren’t I? Yes.

So please stop commenting on my freaking weight!!

I love

Today I stumbled upon the blog “Enjoying the Small Things” written by Kelle Hampton, and I fell in love instantly. The first post I read was this; Nelle Cordelia: A Birth Story, and I cried so bad my head still hurts. It is something with the way she’s writing that gets to me, and when K woke up after his nap I had to sit and hold him for a long time, just because I’m so glad he is the way he is, grumpy or not. How lucky I am, how blessed I am, how I can be who I am because of that little champ – that will grow into a man, first tiny, then little and in the end full grown and hopefully of the gentle kind.

Now a days he’s still practicing how to crawl, and making his way around everywhere. No obstacle too big here! I’m amazed by how he wants to explore everything, and I have a feeling we’ll go on many adventures as he grows older. Looks like he’s got a bunch of “I want to go everywhere”-urges from his good old parents, and I love it. I baked that thing for nine months!

Proud Parent, that’s what I am.

Input

Sometimes I think a movie made from this apartment, with a “fly on the wall” perspective, would be seriously funny. Just imagine – me in my panties doing push ups after being in the shower, so just naturally there’s a huge towel on my head. Insane loud and annoying singing is included here, and of course – with some swearing because of shaking arms too. Afterwards you could see me jump up and down because a pencil isn’t stuck under my boobs anymore. Awesome!

Just thought you should know.

(I hope you laughed).